REAListic
unREAL
I think when we decide to get married we all expect some ups and downs. Agreed? Even when most people realize that there are sometimes seasons in marriage where there are more downs than ups, they settle in and go with the flow and ride it out with their spouse because they can see the UPs from the bottom of the DOWNs. This gives them hope and even bonds them closer together.
But what happens when you are literally jerked around at every turn and you never know which way the marriage ride will take you next? How can you relax and ride it out with hope when you can't even look back to see clearly where you've come from or look forward to see where you're going? When you look to your spouse for assurance you get something else instead.You may even feel like jumping from the ride just to stop the madness.
This is how it feels when you're in a marrige to a gay spouse. Before you realize your spouse is gay you have no clue why your life feels so wrong and so confusing and so hopeless. After you find out, you continue to feel that way. BUT there is a major difference. NOW you know the reason for all of that neverending frustration on the crazy ride you've been trying to make sense of. NOW you know that you can stop the ride and get off, and you don't ever have to get back on again.
It won't be easy because your gay spouse may do everything in his power to keep you there and keep you believing that the ride will smooth out and slow down soon if you just hang on. But don't believe it! Take control of your life and start to see a much smoother and friendlier life in your future.
debbie