Last weekend 14 wives and ex wives of gay men got together to share our stories, our pain and our triumphs. Amazing how connected we all felt...like sisters in a family that nobody else can quite understand. We talked a lot about how difficult it is for people to "get it"or to understand just how painful and unreal our struggle is. Some of us are still coming to terms with what we've learned. Some didn't quite know what to do next, but we all know that we know that our husbands are gay. Bonnie told us what we needed to hear, and we shared laughter and tears. Thankfully there was much more laughter. We are a strong bunch of women. We have to be. We are all on different parts of the journey we call "Gay Husband Recovery" because as Bonnie says, "Life wasn't meant to be this complicated."
here is some more of what Bonnie says:
"I always tell women to follow their instincts. Women who have straight husbands don’t come to me thinking that their husbands are gay. Women can sense when something is off or wrong in a relationship. Some are misled into thinking that it could be infidelity with another woman at first because the idea of a man is inconceivable. By the time a woman suspects that the issue is homosexuality, her sixth sense has surfaced and she just KNOWS. Statistics say that over 50% of gay husbands will never be honest with their wives or tell them the truth about why the marriage isn’t working. They often turn the tables and make you think that you are crazy or imagining things even when you have proof. Or when the marriage ends, they name a dozen faults that you have that made the marriage fail even if they aren’t true. Don’t spend a lifetime waiting for confirmation. Move on with your life so you can find the happiness and peace of mind you deserve."
Thanks Bonnie! What would we do without you? I'd rather not think about that!
debbie
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